She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
