So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
