I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
