i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
