I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
