Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
