with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
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Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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