I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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