Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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