I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
