'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
