i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
