I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
