weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
