Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
