is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
