just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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