I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
