Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
