I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
