I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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