just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
