Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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