is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize