I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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