I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
well you can't waste a boner
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
