I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
