I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
