THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
