That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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