You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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