that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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