We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
