he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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