Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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