How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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