nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
