Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
