we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
