yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
