I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
