Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
