I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
