Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
