Already got asked if we're dating
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
