There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
