But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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