she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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