Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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