I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
