Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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