You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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