No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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