They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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