4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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