maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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