Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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