I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
