That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
