nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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